Finding a Therapist: Knowing What Matters
Finding the Right Therapist: Knowing What Matters
As the youth mental health crisis expands beyond what any of us could have imagined, the need for quality, evidence-based youth mental health care is growing in its wake. These days parenting a child or teen with mental health challenges can be terrifying. Parents describe it as walking through a storm without a map, desperate to find help, yet not sure where to turn.
Finding the right therapist for your child can change everything. The wrong one can actually do harm.
A poor therapy experience can leave kids feeling misunderstood or unsupported, and some may never want to try therapy again. But when therapy works, when children feel safe, understood, and empowered, it’s transformative. I’ve seen countless kids gain tools, hope, and motivation that they can carry into other parts of life.
Not All Therapies Are Equal
With the shortage of youth providers, parents are often desperate to take the first available appointment. But not all therapies are equal. Evidence-based treatments (EBTs), approaches tested in peer-reviewed clinical studies, are proven to help kids get better. But it’s important that the therapy match the condition.
For example, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) should not be treated with “talk therapy” alone. The gold-standard treatment for OCD is exposure with response prevention (ERP), which helps kids face fears while resisting compulsions. ERP has been shown to significantly reduce OCD symptoms in children.
Other conditions also have well-studied treatments that show evidence that they work for kids. Here are some examples:
Anxiety Disorders: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) for parents.
Depression → CBT and Interpersonal Therapy for Adolescents (IPT-A)
ADHD & Behavior Disorders → Parent Management Training, CBT, and school-based supports
Trauma & PTSD Trauma-Focused CBT
These treatments are considered best practice because they’ve been shown to work. Therapy is a big investment of time and money for families. That is why I urge parents to seek treatments that have shown to be effective for what the child is suffering.
Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist
When searching for help, ask:
What is your experience with children and teens? Kids are not “little adults.” Ask about their experience working with youth. How do they build rapport with their young clients? How do they specialize their care when working with children?
Do you use evidence-based treatments? Make sure they’re experienced with the treatments I mentioned above and understand how to match the treatment with your child’s condition.
2. How do you involve parents in therapy? Parent involvement is key to success for many EBTs. Ask the therapist how they work with parents, family members, teachers, and pediatricians to support your child's progress.
3. How do you set goals and measure progress? Discuss how the therapist sets collaborative goals and tracks your child's progress in therapy.
4. Do you accept insurance? What are the out-of-pocket costs? Unfortunately, many therapists don't bill insurance directly or belong to an insurance network. Instead, they provide a superbill, a receipt you can submit to your insurance for reimbursement. Be sure to check with your insurance company about your behavioral health coverage and confirm that they accept superbills.
Online vs. In-Person
While online therapy can be valuable, whenever possible, in-person sessions give kids the best chance to practice and grow. Since COVID, telehealth has become common, and research shows it can help, especially for families with transportation barriers. But children have already spent too much time on screens. In-person therapy gives kids real-world practice in building relationships, making eye contact, reading body language, and connecting face-to-face with a trusted adult.
You’re Not Alone
Finding the right therapist isn’t easy, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. As one parent recently shared at a CCAMH Parent Drop-in session: “Finding a therapist who really understood my son’s OCD changed our whole family’s life. We finally felt hope.”
